I read the entire blog Saturday, got myself up and walked 4.5 miles. I didn't die but I'm definitely NOT in the shape I was in when I started this blog. In fact, I texted the Hus to come pick me up as I was done and so were my aging hips. I sure was motivating back then but as I walked I slowly started to cry. I thought about all the changes that have taken place in the last 4 years. Nursing school got harder and more intense and I stopped working out as much. I taught Zumba for a little bit longer and slowly stopped doing that too. I started working and working and working and then gaining, gaining and gaining. We lost Dustin's dad and a week later, his grandmother passed away too. My kids just keep growing and growing, slowly slipping through my fingers. I feel my nest slowly getting emptier and it saddens me. It doesn't help that Jason, my oldest, has decided to attend NMMI for high school. This requires him to live ON campus and not under my roof for the school year. *enter river of tears here* While I'm totally excited for him, I'm still sad that he won't be at home.
My focus has been on my family, our meals together, our lives together and making sure my babies are supplied with whatever they may need while a lot of times putting what Maureen needs on the back burner. Been there? I'm sure we all have and I've got news, we are human. So I'm starting this blog again to motivate, not you, but myself to keep striving to be that Maureen I was meant to be. I'm here to say life happens, priorities change and we may not be in the health we once were. It's not okay to beat ourselves up for that, which I have done so much these last few years. From this point forward, I'm going to be gentle with my ever changing life; be nice to me and soften my heart to the life changes that are out of my control; lift my spirit so that my health is, once again, my priority and in turn I will be a better me (wife, mom, friend).
